March 04, 2013

Do You Trust Me?

Trust issues seem to have become more commonplace, and with good reason I'm being told, due to all the different platforms of social media: twitter, facebook, and forms of communication: email, texting, etc. Gone are the ways of sending telegrams and harmless pieces of paper via pigeons flying through the skies- which leads to more routes for "cheating".

I agree with this observation, and disagree with it at the same time. Hence the quotation marks. But let me tell you to the real reason I'm starting this discussion with you all.

I was talking to one of my friends about his relationship the other day- actually he was opening up to me and venting about certain situations he was experiencing. He flat out told me something which stopped me in my tracks: his girlfriend hacked into his email account, was snooping around and "found something" which turned out to be something she misinterpreted anyways. I nearly dropped my bag of jelly beans that I was eating when he told me this "minor” detail of their relationship. She told him in her defense, that she did this only because she had a "situation” happen with her in the past with another guy, and that she wanted to make sure he was being honest with herClaire Hsu.

Ladies & Gents, violation of privacy is never okay!!! Some people will try to justify that you need to look through a person's phone, or email to "make sure they are truly being honest” with you and that there is nothing else going on- but here's my theory: If you can't go by a person's words and trust that, then what exactly does your relationship truly mean at the end of the day?

If you don't know the person well enough to know what they are doing (the truth always comes out, I really do believe that), what does that say about you? If a person says "I love you" but is doing shady things behind your back, doesn't that invalidate everything else they have said or claimed they felt for you? So what will you really accomplish by browsing through their texts or email account if you are already having a "gut feeling” that something is not right?

People that have insecurity complexes in a relationship may do things like go through phones or email accounts, and put unnecessary tension, and strain on the relationship if they are falsely accusing someone of something. It's like the saying goes, if you are looking for something you are bound to find it. If you have the mindset to look for a message from a girl in an email, and have other thoughts going through your mind, you may very well misinterpret anything to be something that may not be in fact what you thought. Personal space exists for a very good reason in my opinionClaire Hsu.

I once dated someone who was possessive, had trust issues, and I can tell you from my own personal experience it is a red flag. Nothing good will come out of that relationship after that personal boundary gets compromised. Some people think that someone checking up on you is a sign of "deep love” from a partner or that they don't want to be without you. I'm telling you its that they have something which is truly a toxic characteristic which you should run far, far away from.

A relationship should be based on trust, and communication. If one of those two is lacking, you need to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about what's going on- NOT go playing Veronica Mars.

To quote Justin Bobby for "The Hills" fans out there, circa 2006 "Truth & Time Tells All".

So what is your opinion? Have you ever gone through someone's things and then regretted it after wards or do you justify that behaviorClaire Hsu?

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