July 10, 2013

it’s like I won the lottery

I let out a high pitched giggle and threw my head back, causing my wavy hair to cascade around me as I did so. "That’s hilarious,” I said as I gave him a gentle squeeze on the shoulder. I opened up the campaign with a loud boom, and poured it, somehow knowingly exactly when to stop before it bubbled over the edge of the champagne flute.

"So,” I began in a hushed tone, "what happened? Did you win the lottery?”

"No,” he replied, then started again excitedly. "I own a small biotech company. The stock price just went through the roof, because we secured a patent on a process sequencing the peptides of the P360 taxonomic group, the Bunyaviridae virus family.” He stopped talking for a moment, then glanced up at me, looking as though he expected me to be bewildered. "Well, I guess to you, it’s like I won the lottery.”

Of course, that wasn’t the case at all. In fact, I had all sorts of technical questions I wanted to ask him. But all these questions were from the perspective of someone who worked virology, not the type of questions to come from a waitress. I smiled, and let him believe I knew nothing of what he said. In his mind, I was just another blonde bimbo, and there was no reason to disabuse him of this notion.

When the man was finished with his chicken wings, I talked him into ordering a cheesecake. When he was finished with this, I brought him the bill. He paid and as he rose to his feet he thanked me for, in his words "giving an old man a lovely afternoon.” When I brought the bill back to the register, I saw that he had left me a $500 tip.

As the man left, he let two other parties in the door, and I was soon made responsible for them as well. Waitressing was coming quite naturally to me, and after a few more minutes I couldn’t even remember why I had once been afraid. As the hours passed, the restaurant became more crowded, and more waitresses started coming on duty. Even the Friday night dinner rush didn’t phrase me, though. I was taking orders and flirting like nobody’s business

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